A Married Man's Guide To Christmas

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Press: Bell Bridge Books (December 23, 2011)
Publication Date:2011-12
Author Name:Henry, Robert; Bolinger, Bruce;


In the great tradition of guy-humor everywhere, here comes humorist Robert Henry's growling, good-hearted rant about holiday madness, A Married Man'S Guide To Christmas.Henry reveals the truth about Christmas through the eyes of a typical married man. 
“Remember, it's not how you celebrate the joyous season.
It's whether you are still alive, married, sleeping indoors, with a healthy prostate, and without a rap sheet on January 4th that counts.” Husbands will laugh out loud.
Dads will slap their knees and keel over (have Cpr ready).
Wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, female co-workers and sales clerks who dread seeing men mumble and mutter their way through the Christmas section at Big Box Discount Warehouse will nod in recognition at the syndrome best described as “Can I Survive Until New Year'S?”A Married Man's Guide To Christmas is a must for every guy who wants the women in his life to understand why he'd rather buy them gift certificates than brave the treacherous online world of lingerie catalogs.
Why have just a joyous seasons, when you can have a Christmas filled with laughs that don't include finding pictures of Uncle Herbert in a teddy? Irreverent, honest, and biodegradable, Robert Henry has captured the essence of the holiday season for all men in A Married Man's Guide To Christmas.
So grab it today for all the beleaguered males on your Xmas list and all the long-suffering females who just want the lights strung on the front porch by Christmas Eve, the honey-do list completed before Aunt Sookie arrives with her flatulent Pekinese, and that expensive bottle of Scotch left mostly full until the tinsel is hung, the presents are wrapped, and the homeowners' association has accepted your apology for spelling out a less-than-jolly greeting in solar-powered candy canes on your front lawn.


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Comment List (Total:14)

  •     It's so close to home! It's as if Mr. Henry is sitting next door. His words leap from the page as a man who is living it - married and in the midst of that most-stressful of seasons! Mr. Henry's prose made laugh out loud... and put the milk back through my nose. Too funny and so close to home!! Write on, Henry, write on!
  •     My husband and I laughed all the way through this book. He could relate to so much of what married men feel like at Christmas. Ladies this is a good book for you too know how he feels and why. I couldn't quit laughing. Too funny, but so true....
  •     Not worth the time to down load little alone read it. Just some drunk guy sniveling about his life. Grow up or move on.
  •     In the traditional, self deprecating style of all books in the "about men" genre comes "A Married Man's Guide To Christmas". Filled with every cliched, alcohol-swilling, self-destructive, we-are-ALL-idiots-who-can't-do-anything-right supposed insight...this book is the granddaddy of them all in the "men-are-slovenly-pigs-who-have-no-redeeming-social-value" category. Please don't get me wrong, I know the book was written by a man and it is humorous and well written...it even seems to be universally loved, so you will most likely love it as well; but I just get a little tired of being shoehorned into the "ALL-men-are...(insert your favorite pet peeve here)" category.Really, it's a fast, fun read, humorously illustrated, stereotypical but overall enjoyable, so if you are a guy...grab booze, your rattiest (but favorite) clothes, dive into your Lazy Boy (which EVERYONE knows is the perfect description of the guy occupying it) and sit back and enjoy some insight as to what we "guys" are all about. If you are a woman...nod your head up and down while muttering "EXACTLY, that's him" or back and forth while disgustedly stating "Ha! HE doesn't know a THING about women!" at all the appropriate parts. Then...look into each other's eyes while hugging and kissing, say "Merry Christmas" and thank your lucky stars that you have each other to love (despite your differences) this Holiday Season.
  •     Obtained the book when it was priced less and it was well worth it. Many laugh out loud moments. You will enjoy and I thankfully didn't see a F this or that in the whole book. It was funny without being crude and rude.Very good.
  •     Funny at times.
  •     If you want some laughter before bed as you have been worrying/stressing about a perfect christmas, then this will really get you "back to reality".
  •     This probably has an appeal more for men than women, but then my guy is unique and it was hard for me to relate.
  •     Don't expect much else from this book than few LOL moments. Sometimes that is exactly what we all need - laugh at our own mistakes.
  •     I laughed so hard, I must have burnt enough calories to make up for that extra Christmas cookie.Hubby and I both read this and loved it. Not being a Martha-Stewart type myself, we could both relate. I'm not sure the last time I found a book so funny or laughed so hard.
  •     I downloaded this because it was free and it was on the top 10 list for Kindle books. What a laugh! Highly recommended for all married men.
  •     A humorous look at holiday overeating and boozing, what to purchase the wife for Christmas, the dangers of decorating, etc. It was okay.
  •     What a great ebook! This reminded me a lot of Dave Barry's writing style. I didn't understand everything here and I couldn't read the picture captions properly on my Kindle, but...
  •     Overall: 4.75 starsPlot/Storyline: 4.5 starsYes, I know a humor book doesn't necessarily have a plot, but it does have a storyline (sort of). There were some comments in this book I didn't like; for instance, I don't think getting drunk is amusing OR an acceptable way to handle holiday stress. But Henry nails so much about the holiday season, in an unaffectedly amusing manner, that I laughed anyway. He acknowledges that wives get most of the Christmas shopping duties because men are memory-impaired. "Wives make lists, an activity that is as abhorrent to most men as asking directions." He argues effectively that stocking up the first aid kit should be the first Christmas chore. "There's no time when greater amounts of unlicensed electrical work will be performed by a guy that's sometimes half in the bag." He compares mall shopping to Dante's Inferno and shares his attempts to buy a gift online for his wife. "Something sexy, but not an outfit that looks like it has to be accessorized with a whip and dog collar." I laughed all the way through Chapter Seven, "Journal Entries." His first chapter wasn't particularly funny, and you wouldn't miss anything by skipping it. But the bottom line on the book is: it made me laugh. The journal still made me laugh out loud the second time I read it. This would be a great early Christmas present for the men (and women!) stressing out as Christmas nears.Writing style: 5 starsSentence structure was fine. Descriptions were pointedly exaggerated and usually made me laugh. I spent some time looking hard at Henry's word use and couldn't find anything that I thought would be more effective if a different word/phrase was used.Editing/Formatting: unratedThere were some relying-on-spellcheck-type errors, but the most annoying was the repeated use of "bow" for "bough." Formatting may have been the weakest area of the book. The cartoon illustrations were somewhat cute and may have been funny, but the captions were too small to read on my Kindle Keyboard or my Android phone Kindle app, and increasing the type size didn't help. Whole sections were oddly indented. But these problems didn't really affect my enjoyment of the book.

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